Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I am midnight drunk by noon
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
