Non-Jews are for practice
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
