Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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