I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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