u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
