you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
