omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
