i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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