I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize