There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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