Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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