He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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