and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
