She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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