My hand turned me down
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So much rum. So many feels.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
