if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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