shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
