wat bout pragnant strippers??
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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