This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
