You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
