i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
