it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
