Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Everything about him screamed your future.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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