Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Less talking, more tequila
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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