im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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