Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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