you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
