After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
