dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
