The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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