im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
