Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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