I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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