Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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