that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
