I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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