I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
