you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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