Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
