Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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