those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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