After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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