Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
