break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
