she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
