i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
