apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
