We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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