just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hippo gnu deer
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
