What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
