Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
